The theme with a few of my clients recently seemed to stem around “try” and this is my return thought:
If you are taking action, even a little bit, everyday, you are getting closer and closer to your dreams. So in my book that is more than trying, that is doing. Give yourself credit for doing, not trying.
Maybe it is just me but I seem to have an adverse reaction when I hear the word “Try“. I will try and make it. I heard someone tried something like that and they failed. I try and I try and I try….
Ah! Stop Trying and start Doing!
Try isn’t a very empowering word is it? It feels weak and perhaps just a nice way of saying NO or an “easy” way to have an excuse. What is an excuse?
I recently saw this picture that sums up the physical reaction I feel.
Stop lying to yourself and to the ones you try with.
Whenever I hear “try“ from someone it is pretty much a “No” in my book and if they show up, or come through then it is a pleasant surprise! Otherwise I don’t expect whatever they are “trying” to do will actually come to fruition.
So how do we change our language to not incorporate such a weak word, that really doesn’t give us power and essentially is a nice way of saying “no”, aka not speaking our truth and essentially is an excuses or Lie?
1. If you really want to see how often you say the word “try“, keep a piece of paper with you and for a week (or maybe you will get the lesson in a day) every time you hear the word try and every time you hear yourself say try mark it down on the paper. One column for you and one column for hearing the word from others.
2. Now that you are aware of the word try, catch yourself either before you say it or right after you say it and replace it with a new word, such as “will” or “will not”. Yes you will be forced to make a decision here. Instead of “I will try to make the game tonight”, change to “I (will/will not) make it to the game tonight”. If you can’t quite make it there start with “As of right now it does not appear I will make the game, but if anything changes I will let you know”. Essentially you are almost saying the same thing as try but this way is being more upfront that you are leaning towards the “will not” vs “will” show up. Granted if you can go straight to “will or will not” both you and the other person in the situation will know exactly where you stand.
Now you are not a horrible person if you say try but I would encourage you to test yourself as well as start building the intestinal fortitude to speak your truth. You don’t have to go to every event, and help everyone with everything. By taking try out of your vocabulary it forces you to make decision. When you make decisions you are no longer “wishy-washy”, you have strength and direction. Trust me, people’s feelings won’t be as hurt if you say you won’t do something vs if you say you will try and then don’t. You will be more loved and respected because people will know where you stand and you will know that for your self as well. There is strength in that knowledge.
Looking forward to enjoying a world that removes the word TRY and speaks their truth.
Now go out, take action and make things happen!
All the best,
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